New Computer Virus List (Funny)

George Dubya Bush Virus: Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Paul Revere Virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.

Bill Clinton Virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we’re not exactly sure what it does.

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”

Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Bill Clinton Virus #2: Gives you a permanent hard drive, with no memory.

Mario Cuomo Virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Ted Turner Virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

Dan Quayle Virus #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!

Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

Gallup Virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)

Texas Virus: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

Adam & Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Airline Virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Ollie North Virus: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

Nike Virus: Just does it.

Star Trek Virus: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.